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Charts comparing divorce recovery scores for people who were left against those who ended the relationship

Divorce Recovery Statistics 2024: The State of Divorce Recovery

September 01, 2026•5 min read

2024 EDITION — REBUILDERS INTERNATIONAL

The State of Divorce Recovery 2024

What 1,301 people going through divorce told us about where they actually were.

All figures drawn from Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale assessments completed during calendar year 2024. Each person counted once, at their first assessment. Released September 2026 alongside the 2025 edition. Free to cite with attribution.

Headline

Share

Had not finished their divorce

70%

Did not end the relationship themselves

51%

Had been married 21 years or more

40%

Who seeks divorce recovery

Stage in the process

Share

n

Considering divorce

20.5%

263

In the divorce process

49.5%

636

Divorced

30.0%

386

n = 1,285.

Half were in the middle of proceedings. Only three in ten had finished. Material written for life after divorce reaches the smallest of the three groups.

Who ended the relationship

Share

n

Their partner ended it

50.7%

654

They ended it

38.1%

491

A mutual decision

11.2%

144

n = 1,289. Self-reported. 68% of respondents were women.

Length of marriage

Share

n

21 years or more

40.0%

517

16 to 20 years

17.0%

220

6 to 10 years

16.0%

207

11 to 15 years

13.8%

178

0 to 5 years

13.3%

172

n = 1,294.

Two in five had been married more than twenty-one years, and seven in ten more than a decade. The shortest marriages were the smallest group.

Adjustment norms for 2024

Overall adjustment, scale 0–500

Score

Minimum observed

136

25th percentile

256

Median

305

Mean

308

75th percentile

356

Maximum observed

478

n = 1,292.

Area of recovery

Median

Of max

% of max

Confidence around others

33

45

73%

Letting go of the former partner

74

110

67%

Self-worth

82

125

66%

Grief

69

120

58%

Anger

34

60

57%

Trusting people again

22

40

55%

n = 1,292. Higher indicates better adjustment throughout.

Anger and trust sit lowest, as they do in every year we have measured. Grief is close behind. These three are where people arrive worst off, and they are the areas least helped by time.

Reference norms by situation

A client benchmarked against everyone is barely useful. Benchmarked against people in the same position, the comparison becomes clinically meaningful.

Median score (percentile)

Considering

In process

Divorced

Did not end it

266 (25th)

278 (30th)

306 (43rd)

Ended it

308 (44th)

338 (58th)

350 (63rd)

Out of 500, with population percentile. Cell sizes 90 to 336.

The spread across those six cells is 84 points — the same score means something quite different depending which one a person is in.

The gap between being left and leaving

People who were left scored a median of 281. People who ended the relationship scored 334. A 53-point gap.

Area

Were left

Left

Gap

Letting go of the ex

55%

82%

+26

Grief

54%

63%

+9

Confidence around others

69%

78%

+9

Self-worth

62%

70%

+8

Trusting people again

52%

58%

+5

Anger

57%

58%

+2

Almost the entire gap is one thing: whether you have let go yet.

Someone who ends a relationship begins detaching before they leave, so they arrive with that work largely done. On anger they are identical, and on trust nearly so. Leaving is not easier — it is further along on one dimension.

Who has the hardest time

Work situation

n

Median score

Managerial job

223

319

Desk job

426

314

Physical or active job

270

301

Not currently working or other

258

301

Stay-at-home parent

114

248

Stay-at-home parents scored 71 points below people in managerial roles and 53 below the overall median — the lowest of any group we measure. The divorce that removes a partner also removes the adult contact that came with them, and there is no workplace to absorb the difference.

What it actually feels like

Beneath the scores are a hundred statements people agree or disagree with. Some of the responses are worth reporting on their own.

Share saying this is true "almost always" or "usually"

2024

I feel lonely

66%

I am constantly thinking of my former partner

56%

I am afraid of becoming emotionally close to another partner

55%

I am physically and emotionally exhausted from morning until night

54%

I am afraid to trust people who might become partners

54%

I feel emotionally weak and helpless

42%

Because my relationship failed, I must be a failure

34%

I feel like I am going crazy

34%

I have many plans and goals for the future

40%

n = 1,295.

Two in three were lonely. Only two in five could see a future.

What this report does not show

  • Not a random sample of divorcing adults. Everyone here sought out a divorce recovery assessment. These findings describe people looking for help.

  • Self-reported on a single instrument, with no independent clinician rating.

  • Who ended the relationship is self-reported, and accounts routinely differ between the two people in a marriage.

  • Monthly counts reflect our own activity and are not a measure of divorce rates.

  • Trust readings rest on a narrow base — one subscale worth 40 of 500 points.

Full detail on instruments, population and method is on the methodology page at rebuildersinternational.com/research/methodology

This edition was compiled and released in September 2026, alongside the 2025 edition, as the first two reports in an annual series. It was not published during 2024.

What came next

The 2025 edition shows adjustment falling further — from an index of 61.6 in 2024 to 59.2 in 2025, with five of six areas declining. The Divorce Recovery Index now publishes monthly.

Suggested citation

Rebuilders International. The State of Divorce Recovery 2024. Released September 2026. https://rebuildersinternational.com/post/state-of-divorce-recovery-2024

About Rebuilders International

Rebuilders International trains mental health professionals and divorce coaches in the Rebuilding method, developed by Dr. Bruce Fisher over more than forty years. Individuals going through divorce can find programs, classes and a free self-assessment at rebuilders.net.


divorce recoverymental health2024 trendsdivorce insightsrecovery researchmodern divorcedivorce support
blog author image

Kevin Van Liere

Kevin is CEO and co-founder of Rebuilders International. He is focused on helping coaches and mental health professionals guide people through divorce.

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