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2024 EDITION — REBUILDERS INTERNATIONAL
What 1,301 people going through divorce told us about where they actually were.
All figures drawn from Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale assessments completed during calendar year 2024. Each person counted once, at their first assessment. Released September 2026 alongside the 2025 edition. Free to cite with attribution.
Headline | Share |
|---|---|
Had not finished their divorce | 70% |
Did not end the relationship themselves | 51% |
Had been married 21 years or more | 40% |
Stage in the process | Share | n |
|---|---|---|
Considering divorce | 20.5% | 263 |
In the divorce process | 49.5% | 636 |
Divorced | 30.0% | 386 |
n = 1,285.
Half were in the middle of proceedings. Only three in ten had finished. Material written for life after divorce reaches the smallest of the three groups.
Who ended the relationship | Share | n |
|---|---|---|
Their partner ended it | 50.7% | 654 |
They ended it | 38.1% | 491 |
A mutual decision | 11.2% | 144 |
n = 1,289. Self-reported. 68% of respondents were women.
Length of marriage | Share | n |
|---|---|---|
21 years or more | 40.0% | 517 |
16 to 20 years | 17.0% | 220 |
6 to 10 years | 16.0% | 207 |
11 to 15 years | 13.8% | 178 |
0 to 5 years | 13.3% | 172 |
n = 1,294.
Two in five had been married more than twenty-one years, and seven in ten more than a decade. The shortest marriages were the smallest group.
Overall adjustment, scale 0–500 | Score |
|---|---|
Minimum observed | 136 |
25th percentile | 256 |
Median | 305 |
Mean | 308 |
75th percentile | 356 |
Maximum observed | 478 |
n = 1,292.
Area of recovery | Median | Of max | % of max |
|---|---|---|---|
Confidence around others | 33 | 45 | 73% |
Letting go of the former partner | 74 | 110 | 67% |
Self-worth | 82 | 125 | 66% |
Grief | 69 | 120 | 58% |
Anger | 34 | 60 | 57% |
Trusting people again | 22 | 40 | 55% |
n = 1,292. Higher indicates better adjustment throughout.
Anger and trust sit lowest, as they do in every year we have measured. Grief is close behind. These three are where people arrive worst off, and they are the areas least helped by time.
A client benchmarked against everyone is barely useful. Benchmarked against people in the same position, the comparison becomes clinically meaningful.
Median score (percentile) | Considering | In process | Divorced |
|---|---|---|---|
Did not end it | 266 (25th) | 278 (30th) | 306 (43rd) |
Ended it | 308 (44th) | 338 (58th) | 350 (63rd) |
Out of 500, with population percentile. Cell sizes 90 to 336.
The spread across those six cells is 84 points — the same score means something quite different depending which one a person is in.
People who were left scored a median of 281. People who ended the relationship scored 334. A 53-point gap.
Area | Were left | Left | Gap |
|---|---|---|---|
Letting go of the ex | 55% | 82% | +26 |
Grief | 54% | 63% | +9 |
Confidence around others | 69% | 78% | +9 |
Self-worth | 62% | 70% | +8 |
Trusting people again | 52% | 58% | +5 |
Anger | 57% | 58% | +2 |
Almost the entire gap is one thing: whether you have let go yet.
Someone who ends a relationship begins detaching before they leave, so they arrive with that work largely done. On anger they are identical, and on trust nearly so. Leaving is not easier — it is further along on one dimension.
Work situation | n | Median score |
|---|---|---|
Managerial job | 223 | 319 |
Desk job | 426 | 314 |
Physical or active job | 270 | 301 |
Not currently working or other | 258 | 301 |
Stay-at-home parent | 114 | 248 |
Stay-at-home parents scored 71 points below people in managerial roles and 53 below the overall median — the lowest of any group we measure. The divorce that removes a partner also removes the adult contact that came with them, and there is no workplace to absorb the difference.
Beneath the scores are a hundred statements people agree or disagree with. Some of the responses are worth reporting on their own.
Share saying this is true "almost always" or "usually" | 2024 |
|---|---|
I feel lonely | 66% |
I am constantly thinking of my former partner | 56% |
I am afraid of becoming emotionally close to another partner | 55% |
I am physically and emotionally exhausted from morning until night | 54% |
I am afraid to trust people who might become partners | 54% |
I feel emotionally weak and helpless | 42% |
Because my relationship failed, I must be a failure | 34% |
I feel like I am going crazy | 34% |
I have many plans and goals for the future | 40% |
n = 1,295.
Two in three were lonely. Only two in five could see a future.
Not a random sample of divorcing adults. Everyone here sought out a divorce recovery assessment. These findings describe people looking for help.
Self-reported on a single instrument, with no independent clinician rating.
Who ended the relationship is self-reported, and accounts routinely differ between the two people in a marriage.
Monthly counts reflect our own activity and are not a measure of divorce rates.
Trust readings rest on a narrow base — one subscale worth 40 of 500 points.
Full detail on instruments, population and method is on the methodology page at rebuildersinternational.com/research/methodology
This edition was compiled and released in September 2026, alongside the 2025 edition, as the first two reports in an annual series. It was not published during 2024.
The 2025 edition shows adjustment falling further — from an index of 61.6 in 2024 to 59.2 in 2025, with five of six areas declining. The Divorce Recovery Index now publishes monthly.
Rebuilders International. The State of Divorce Recovery 2024. Released September 2026. https://rebuildersinternational.com/post/state-of-divorce-recovery-2024
Rebuilders International trains mental health professionals and divorce coaches in the Rebuilding method, developed by Dr. Bruce Fisher over more than forty years. Individuals going through divorce can find programs, classes and a free self-assessment at rebuilders.net.
Empowering professionals to guide individuals through transformative recovery and rebuilding processes.
Looking for the consumer program? Visit Rebuilders.net.
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